• Christine Ward

A Change in Mindset, Please

How I used Positive Thinking to Improve my Life

Looking back through this past year has made me realize that I’m so far from where I was last February that I almost can’t recognize myself. I’m going to be honest and tell you that last year I genuinely think I hit my lowest point I’ve ever been in my entire life.

I’m going to tell you something a lot of people don’t know about me.

In February 2019, I was in the behavioral health unit, receiving much-needed treatment because I couldn’t see past my misery. I was so utterly depressed that I thought I had lost myself, and I was thinking about escaping. It was such a dark place that my rational mind was replaced with crippling anxiety attacks that left me feeling like I was a burden to my entire family.

While in recovery, I was able to start seeing past my selfishness, and with the help of therapy, I pinpointed what exactly had driven me to the “looney bin.” It was a culmination of a few distinct issues. I’ve had a lot of disappointments in my life, and while I’m usually one to just pick up and keep it moving, not properly dealing made me finally implode.

And boy, did I.

I did take the medications that I was prescribed and, obviously, went to my therapist’s office right on schedule - just like I was supposed to. My therapist was a godsend, but the meds that I was prescribed had me feeling like a damn zombie, I think we changed three or four times. It sucked.

While I was doing all the stuff I was being told to do to improve my mood, I was still stuck in the same situations that were making me sick. I knew I needed to make some changes, but I was so scared, and the thought of change made me ill too. Finally, I just said fuck it.

I made some major life moves, and I’m not just talking about changing careers. I’m talking about cutting people off, setting boundaries, and focusing on truly important things.

I stopped being scared and realized that most of my problems with anxiety were stemming from just that - fear. I quit caring if others viewed me as being a bitch when I told them that no, I’m not taking their bullcrap anymore. I decided that I was going to make myself and my family happy. My immediate family.

I decided to be happy.

My major mindset shift literally happened within about a week. Yep. That’s all it took to make some significant decisions and let the rest fall into place. All I had to do was decide if I was going to continue my current pothole-riddled path, or if I was going to finally do what I wanted.

I wasn’t going to let other’s talk down to me anymore - and with it, I wasn’t going to talk down to myself, either. I started telling myself every day that I was a badass. I made up little mantras that made me feel happy and repeated them every day. I know it sounds out there, but seriously it worked.

“I radiate love and respect, and I receive love and respect in return.” That’s my favorite one.

I started really trying to just enjoy the little things and quit worrying so much. I actively put effort into being happy, and you know what? I became happy.

I really, honestly believe that if you try to have positive thoughts, positive things will follow. Good things will start happening more, and you’ll take notice. It sure happened that way for me. The mind is a powerful tool and can be your greatest asset or your biggest downfall.

I still can’t believe that only a year ago I was so sick, and I’m seriously proud of where I’m at today. I made my mind up to shoot for the stars and quit letting myself and others hold me back.

I can finally say after a year of hard work and mostly positive thought, things are literally falling into place.

The biggest attribute to being happy is a change in your mind.

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